You’re following this person everywhere: on her social media, her website, maybe even her newsletter, and she’s great. She seems to have it all. Her Instagram feed is on point, her blog or website polished as a clean white ceramic floor, and you’re thinking…
“How the heck does she do it?”
Stop Looking At Their Social Media, It’s Not Helping You
There’s nothing wrong with
stalking following your inspiration. It’s actually healthy, and I definitely recommend it (the #GYFSWorkbook advocates this on the first page) but as with all medical prescriptions, it has to be at the right dosage.
Why It Isn’t Healthy
Following someone around and knowing what’s up in their lives can take a looooot of your precious time. And successful people know that time is their most important asset.
Not only are you wasting your time scrolling through your feed and switching back and forth on platforms or absorbing the news on the grapevine from someone else, you’re not leading your life.
This is why you shouldn’t do it. You shouldn’t follow them.
You should be following you.
Don’t be a sheep in the herd, be the shepherd.
Lead your life to the direction you want to, and not create a lifestyle just because somebody else has it. It’s okay to be inspired, but don’t be an entire copycat.
The Age of FOMO
Though if you’re still suffering from this constant checking because of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), you’re not alone.
I do it too.
But realize this: fear is a deeper issue.
When I was introspecting there were two questions that popped up:
- Why do I fear on missing out? Is it because we want to live vicariously through other people when I don’t have anything valuable going on?
- Or is it because I don’t know what to do with my time?
Either way, don’t fear fear. Dig deep and it will always lead to something more that you may need to solve.
We’re all being told that we need to know our WHY when we want to pursue something; that we’re told to look for people who could inspire us.
But where does inspiration end to become jealousy?
It isn’t enough that we’re perpetually bombarded with different social media standards – to look a certain weight, to carry a certain lifestyle, to take photos of certain things… you know the drill.
#flatlay #livingthelife #ittookme30minutestoshootthis
But in the process, we slowly lose our identity when we get sucked into this mundane cycle. We wake up in the morning and before we hit that cup of coffee (mine would probably be Nestle Milo because I don’t drink caffeine anymore – more on this later) we hustle — but not to work.
Instead we work our fingers to see how many likes or comments we’ve had, or if our “pegs” (as what Millenials call it) have posted something new.
This has slowly become the way of life for us.
Today though I’m going to give you a run through on how to curb jealousy into inspiration.
If you’re struggling with finding your greatness, self identity and confidence, you’ll want to cosy up in reading this.
Go get a cup of tea, coffee or hot chocolate and carve out a safe space to cuddle in.
This one’s for you, dreamer.
1. Discipline yourself when catching up
From the #GYFSWorkbook I recommend 15 minutes every day to go through the whole planner and about 5 minutes of that time to check up on your inspirations.
The ideal would be to pick 1-2 people for the day to inspire you so you’ll have plenty of time savoring and digesting their updates.
You can always catch up on the others on your list the following days anyway.
2. Realize that jealousy is not a bad thing
At first you might think this sounds like a trick but it isn’t. I’ve learned over the years and from reading countless personal development blogs that jealousy is not a negative thing IF you choose it to be otherwise.
It’s actually an indicator of your aspiration.
And if you let that simmer as a positive thought, you can form a plan on how to launch a better version of yourself by appreciating what you have and do and recognizing your weaknesses.
If you need help in that area, my workbook is perfect for you. Download it below.
3. Recognize that your feeling is valid
We envy certain aspects from people because we wish we have them or are experiencing them. And that’s normal. No human has never been envious.
We just have to recognize these feelings so that they will have less power on us. The key to this is letting go.
4. Practice gratitude & reaffirmation
When I was jealous of this certain girl because she seemed to have it all already… my mom told me a very wise advice: I didn’t know what I had.
My mother reaffirmed my worth because I keep forgetting it at times.
Sure, that girl might be living a glamorous life at a loft and enjoying more than a few cocktail nights but she doesn’t have the things that I do: a beautiful daughter, my multiple talents & skills, my out of this world humor, my local and international friends who I have bonded deeply, my knack for finding good music, and all my dreams and experiences that only I will ever, ever know.
5. Acknowledge and verbalize that there is only one YOU.
This is a good practice every time you face the mirror. I do this whenever I go for a bath because it is a relaxing and an unhurried time to reflect on myself.
You’ve seen yourself change over the years and only YOU know you. Don’t discount your worth.
Say these few words aloud and believe in them:
- I am my own success
- I am enough
- Believe in my own dream
- I am unique in my own way
- Always choose what I love today
- Life is not a competition
- Find my own tribe
- Remember my core values
- Align me with my ideal self
- Grow my soul & learn
These are just affirmation statements that help you practice confidence and grace with yourself.
If you’ve still muddled whether or not it is inspiration or jealousy, turn to these interviews I’ve had with several people. I asked them to define inspiration versus jealousy and these are the insights I’ve got:
But jealousy is when you see the success of others and become frustrated because they are already achieving in certain aspects of life while you’re still learning about these.
It’s when you don’t see your goals as something beautiful, you see them as something weak because other people achieved it already. You tend to do more comparisons with other people than focus on yourself and the amazing person you could become.
Inspiration, then, is appreciating everything happening at the moment and recognize that a bright future is definitely ahead of you, while jealousy is looking at others’ current status and comparing it to your own and being frustrated that your future goals are already present in the life of others.Katrina Hughes Que, 20
Being jealous is focusing on the achievement of another but not moved to improve. Instead, even hoping for the other’s failures.Rey Baguio
Hope that was worth your read! If you need help in self-confidence, envy management and finding your greatness, post your burning questions below. I would love to hear from you.
PS: Don’t stay silent over there. I’ll see you in my next post.