The Different Types Of Heartbreak. Which One Is Yours?

Every person goes through a rough patch in their romantic lives. And as much pop culture capitalizes on this pain, it cannot be classified as just one general heartbreak.

We are unique in our own ways, and the woes of the heart are no exception to it. See if you can figure out which type of heartbreak you have below.


The Discord

Discords account for the majority of divorces and bitter separations (although they can be coupled with other types like The Veto) simply because the ending is too abrasive.

This type of relationship is nothing but filled with chaos. As the name implies, Discord is just plain too messy.

There is a lack of agreement or harmony in this connection and you can barely get self-reassurance that you’ll get by within the week without arguing.

Discords account for the majority of divorces and bitter separations (although they can be coupled with other types like The Veto) simply because the ending is too abrasive.

Words and actions get thrown at each other, and at some instances even objects. Physical harm is definitely not a good indication to wait out the break up.

How it feels: you feel like every little thing that is said and done will be twisted into a manner that won’t end well. Neither one of the party understands what was communicated and ego stands in the way.

Solution: As hard as it can be, don’t engage. It will only worsen.


The Veto

The first veto was issued by President George Washington on April 5, 1792. As states, “Veto is the power or right vested in one branch of a government to cancel or postpone the decisions, enactments, etc.”

When taken as a verb, this means “to vote against”.

Essentially The Veto here is a relationship that was voted against. Maybe it was because of your parents, cultural/time difference, distance, moral issues or whatever it was that caused the relationship to end.

The Veto is the second most bitter heartache of all. It’s already difficult to have conflict, but a seemingly good thing going on that had prohibitions? Harsh.

Big ticket items here include affairs, extramarital affairs, close consanguinity relationships and other inappropriate relations.

But The Veto is not all necessarily morally evil.

Some just happen to be voted against by the people these lovers love, particularly the no-vote would be coming from parents.

How it feels: Like a broken playground you want to play as a kid, but there’s a yellow tape around it that says “Do not enter”. You’re tempted and prevented. Breaking in would require overriding authority or voice of reason and if you must continue, you will enjoy for a while but will end up with broken bones later on.

Solution: While The Veto can appear to be something good, it is in fact blinding. List down all the negative things you have experienced here or what people are noticing. Usually outsiders have no bias to your relationship and this will help you reassess if it is good for you.


The Unrequited Feelings

Third hardest heartache is The Unrequited Feelings. Unrequited means not reciprocated or there is no mutual exchange.

This involves crushes, infatuations, and other serious one-way attractions. Even marriages and relationships that become stagnant can fall in this category.

How it feels: Like gifting a person something very valuable on Christmas Day but not getting anything in return. You’re not really expecting them to, but perhaps the thought of giving should have crossed their minds.

Solution: Similar to The Veto, write down the negatives.

You could try and woo the person or make the situation in your favor but then you could end up in the last kind of heartbreak (The Limbo) for a long time.

It’s best to see the situation for what it is, but before moving on I suggest you really reaffirm if the person feels the same way for you or not.

If it’s a situation, recheck if it is actually for you. You will find out that there will actually be many things going against the grain and the heartbreak will be your convenient choice to start over so that you don’t waste your time any further. Know you deserve better.


The Limbo

The Limbo… it’s the purgatory of all relationships. Requited or not requited, The Limbo will drain your energy. I would say, it’s better knowing the cold hard truth rather than a bed full of warm lies… or rather here, a very huge grey area.

The Limbo… it’s the purgatory of all relationships. Requited or not requited, The Limbo will drain your energy.

How it feels: You will ask yourself many times, “is it or is it not? Should I stay or should I go?”

Solution: Let it be for a while.

Distract yourself with something incredibly productive. Pick up a new or old hobby and work on a better you.

The key here, is to have a life of your own to avoid spending your whole time thinking about where you stand.

The only person who can truly control the situation will be YOU.

Once you have worked on yourself for a while, the answer will come on its own. This is because self-love will reaffirm your worth as a person and as a lover, and having this kind of confidence is essential to being firm with your decision of moving on.

So, have you identified which of these sound more like yours?

Note that some heartbreaks can be a combination of two or three, but will primarily have the main type as its overarching theme.

Let me know your thoughts, questions and suggestions in the comments!


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